I'm already over today.

***15 weeks today!***

So I'm at that stage in pregnancy that involves some crazy vivid dreams. OOOOOHHHH MYYY GODDD. I don't think I've ever had dreams this strange and this realistic. It's almost like I dropped acid and settled into bed for the ride. I hope I'm not talking in my sleep... that could be bad.

I hope July is better than June. Not that June sucked. It was okay. July 21st is my birthday. I'll be a whole 32 years old. Yay me, for keeping myself alive this long.

I'm not 100% sure what kind of mood I'm in right now. I'm happy...ish. Mildly aggravated with J. A little disgusted with how bad Zeus smells. He needs a bath. I have no idea whose dead body he found but I wish he wouldn't have rolled around in it. He's in his cage today until I get around to washing him. I just can't deal with it. Overall, I think I just want to be left the hell alone today. I have overtime tomorrow. A whole 12 hellish hours of it. Tomorrow is supposed to be the hottest day of the weekend and it's kicking off a whole week of temps in the 90s. I'm going to die this week. I just know it. 

This seems like a good time to stop computering and start reading. 

Here's this link they told me to post

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the wedding machine

We went to a wedding yesterday. A close friend of his got married. I had been dreading this for months. I'm not a big fan of weddings. Reasons are as follows:

1. It seems like every cliché thing gets done at every single one. Throw the bouquet. Take off the garter. It's mind numbing. Almost painful. Like, honestly, be original.
2. I'm not girly, therefore I don't have or wear dresses. I have a few maxi's but they're not really wedding material. One is a good pass for wedding attire and that's the one I wore. 
3. I despise large groups of people. Especially preppy "I'm better than you" people. They give me the shits.

HOWEVER! This wedding was beautiful. It wasn't cheesy at all. No bouquets were thrown, no garter slipped off any leg. It was original and cute and I loved it. The reception was held on their farm under a big, beautifully decorated tent. It felt very cozy. I liked everyone I met. Everyone was nice. There were people there that I was not interested in whatsoever but I kept my mouth shut. I just blocked them out. We sat with J's brother and sister-in-law, and a few other people from his softball team and their wives. I had a good time. J got to show me off and tell everyone we're expecting and we got some cute, ridiculous, somewhat-maternity pics taken with a cell phone. It was lovely. The food was AWESOME!! I'm a sucker for good food and let me tell you, I was not disappointed. I don't regret going.

You probably think I'm so negative. A jaded grouch-ass. You're sort of right. It depends. I like to believe that, at their core, people are inherently good. I give everyone the benefit of the doubt. I don't go into everything thinking it will be a disaster- but I am a realist, and I am prepared. Someone will be shitty. So far, I've been right every time. This was an exception. Color me pleasantly surprised.

The next wedding we'll be attending will be that of his friends, Mike and Erica. I adore those two. They're expecting! She's 3 weeks behind me. I'm excited for them.

As for our wedding, that's going to be a long way off. We have a baby coming, and we need to save money. We also want our child to be old enough to participate in it. Old enough to follow simple directions. It'll happen someday. I'm not really worried about being shackled by a government contract. I love J to death but marriage is serious. It's scary. I'm a child of a broken home so as you can imagine, I have my doubts. Doesn't mean I don't want to do it. It just makes me nervous, that's all.

Ok, I'm done blathering.

1st trimester screening!!

This trip was for a nuchal translucency measurement, but our little one just didn't want to cooperate this morning. Not even out of the first trimester and already stubborn. Given who J and I are as parents, I'm not surprised. I am, however, intensely curious as to how we're going to survive this child. A combination of the two of us is a little dangerous. At least the kid will be adorable...

just...ugh.

This dog is getting on my last fucking nerve today. Everything is. I'm in one of "those" moods. You know what I'm talking about. Fred Durst said it best: Everything is fucked. Everybody sucks.

I had plans for two weeks to have lunch today with my friend from my last job. I haven't seen this woman for a fucking year and of course, yesterday, I get saddled with a sinus infection. Couldn't have waited another week. OH NO!! Had to be today. 😞 Whatever. Shit like this happens to me all the time. Of course, because I'm pregnant, I can't take anything for it either. Nothing good. Nothing remotely helpful.

As for the dog, he needs his nuts cut. He'll be 2 years old in November. I realize he's still very much a puppy. Do I care? No. Zero fucks are given. I have no patience for dogs that act like assholes. I love him to pieces but he needs to calm down and listen. Especially before the baby comes. Or else.

I'm going back to sleep. I can't today.

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Monday, monday...

I seriously need to find some motivation. At least that's what adult me thinks. Lazy fucker me has other ideas. Today is the last day of my 5 day weekend so I think I'm just going to look at baby stuff on Pinterest. I'm obsessed. We're really hoping it's a boy BUT I'm going to be in love either way. ((I have tons of ideas for the nursery.)) My first trimester screening is next Wednesday and I can't wait to see how much little one has grown. I LOVE seeing our baby. Speaking of "our baby", his mother keeps calling it exactly that and it drives me nuts. It's like... No. You had no involvement in the conception of this child, therefore, it is not in any way shape or form YOUR baby. It's your grandbaby. Just fucking stop it. It's weird. She's very sweet and I love her but she can be a little too immersed in what we're doing sometimes and occasionally we have to drop a "back off" on her. J agrees. He is her favorite and it's obvious but goddamn, he's 30 years old. WE are adults.

ANYWAY. 

Everyone got a $2 raise at work. Market adjustments. Trying to match other warehouses' pay. Fine by me. I'm pretty happy about it. It's going to help a lot. You know, now that I think about it, this year has REALLY been a great year. Everything is getting better and falling into place. Last year sucked a gigantic bag of dicks. Not even kidding. Glad it's over.

God, my nails need filled.

That's it.

give it to me!!

insert witty title here

Holy hell, it's June... 

...and Day 2 of my vacation. I work 4 ten hour days ((Monday through Thursday)), and yesterday was my first day off. Monday will be my last. I've got a nice 5 day weekend going. I'm not going anywhere. I'm not doing anything with anyone, except relaxing at home. I'm fucking tired. God help J if he volunteers me to go anywhere and visit anyone. I even faked taking a nap earlier so I didn't have deal with his mom visiting me for an hour. I love her to death, but I just didn't want to be bothered. I was watching my show. 

I started watching Requiem on Netflix yesterday and I'm obsessed with it now. It's only a miniseries (6 episodes), which sucks, BUT it's SOOOO GOOD!! It's creepy. I like creepy. I have no idea what I'm going to watch after I'm finished with it. Maybe I should finish one of the 17 other series I've started within the last year. Maybe I will, maybe I won't. I probably won't. I'll probably start a new one. The thing is, I'll start watching something, get bored, and look for something else. I have commitment issues when it comes to shows. It has to grip me on the first episode. People say my expectations are too high. I say they're absolutely right. 

I'm 10 weeks, 6 days today. Even though I've seen our baby and heard the heartbeat, I'm still in disbelief I think. Shock. I'm going to be a mother. I'm going to influence an innocent human being. Best believe they'll be raised better than 80% of these brats growing up in Libtard America. Count on that. (If you're a Liberal, I hate your kids.) 

I'm going to go back to watching my show.