Do I really want to blog right now? I may as well. It's not like I have anything else to do. I was already on here toying with CSS anyway. We ate. We're full. Everything is cleaned up. Everything is done. So why not?
I'm gonna bitch for a minute. I don't believe you should put more effort into people than they put into you. I don't believe you should jump through hoops for people just because they're friends with your significant other. I've always been a person who will go out of my way or make an effort to get to know someone once, and if I don't feel like it's being reciprocated, that's it. No more. They lose my interest forever. That's all I'm going to say about it. I'm not here to whine and there's really nothing to whine about. I don't give a fuck about people I don't know in general, but I made an effort for him-because they're his friends and I love him. Now I can say I tried.
I still haven't spoken to my mother. This will be almost 6 months. She never put in much effort either. She's made no move to reconcile with me, and with every month that goes by that she doesn't, my point is proven even more so. I don't need her. I never have. She's done literally nothing for me to improve my life since the day I came squalling into this world. I'm also completely unconcerned if she ever sees my child. I couldn't possibly care less. Call me heartless, if you want, but you don't know what she's like. I didn't make the decision for her to be my mother and she didn't even want kids when she had me. I don't look for any reunion in the near future and I'm not sure if I want one. I love her but I don't want her toxic bullshit in my life. I won't allow it. I do miss my sister, though. I still talk to her occasionally. She's having a baby girl in September and I can't wait to see her. She's tired of Mom's shit, too. They're a little closer so I don't think she'll completely cut her off like I did. All I want for the woman is to just stop being so fucking miserable and to stop trying to control everything before she loses everyone. I just want her to be happy.
I'm going to go watch a movie with my child's father, I think.
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