sunday mornings

Life has been... interesting. Hectic. Quite frankly, I haven't REALLY been in the mood to post anything. Long story short, I got myself worked into a funk, stayed in it for quite some time, and just recently, worked myself out of it. I'm okay now, and I feel like blogging.

I've noticed that I'm getting into funks more often. I don't know why. I'm not depressed. I think it's just that I get overwhelmed with everything and I need to do absolutely nothing for a while (except housework. That has to be done or I WILL lose my shit). I need to vegetate and be absolutely useless... retreat into my shell, as it were. In my defense, I am a Cancer, and crabs do that.

I've come to the conclusion very early on that I can no longer work at the golf course. To sum it up as perfectly as possible, I'm too old for this shit. I really am. I'm 30 years old now and I feel a pull to move on. I need to go. I love the members. I hate the public. The longer I work there, the more amazed I am at just how simple the male species is. I can't deal with it anymore. I have one month left. I'm bummed out, yet relieved. *So very relieved.*  I have a pretty good idea what I'm going to do next. I just need the stars to line up and help me out.  I'll miss it, but it's not like I can't go visit. In fact, I might even swipe some shifts next year. The one big Greek group will want me to come and mix drinks for them. I'm NOT going to let them down.

I just realized how good it feels to be at home on a Sunday morning, with a cup of coffee, doing absolutely nothing. My cats are tearing the room apart. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy. This is one of the reasons I know I need to do something different with my life. I'm missing everything... these small, simple things. Very rarely do I get weekends off. I need weekends. I need quiet Sunday mornings and coffee. I need my art. I need to write...

...I need my family. I never see them anymore. I should go over this morning but damn, I'm exhausted. I don't want to drive today. Especially not over a mountain. ESPECIALLY in fog. Heavy fog, I might add. Nobody seems to know how to drive anymore anyway. Or they do, and just don't give a fuck anymore. Someone just died on that mountain yesterday because they passed someone in a no passing zone on a curve and hit someone else head on. So because of someone's stupidity, another family is dealing with a family member in critical condition. There is no regard for anyone's life. This world is falling apart. That overwhelms me more than anything.

On a lighter note, it's OCTOBER!! Which means it's basically Halloween AND The Walking Dead is coming back. I'm pumped!

I'm done blathering. I'm going to fiddle with the layout a little.